A representational image
Breakups are hard, that much is a fact that more than half of this generation can vouch for. If finding someone worth investing all that time and effort it is not hard enough, the disappointment and pain of a failed relationship makes the whole experience even worse...and in effect, makes us more jaded as people.
But sometimes, more often than we know, in fact, we tend to make break-ups harder for ourselves than they are. In the whirlwind of emotions, feelings, tears, and fears...we do things which don't make for healthy choices.
These are the few things we should really stop doing post a break-up:
1. Keep talking to them
One of the hardest things to do is to cut contact. I mean, this person has been an integral part of your daily life for so long, multiples calls through the day, texts, sharing everything....and now there will be a void where all that once was. But whatever you may tell yourself, going cold turkey and cutting contact is necessary for you to start the healing process.
2. Stalk them on social media platforms
When we do that, we are still anchoring our life to theirs; our mood depends on what we discover about them, where they are, what they are doing, whether they are already moving on, the likes. What we need to do is not have our life depend on what THEY are up to.
3. Run away from the grieving process
Don't pretend to be fine when you aren't, it is okay to feel sad, hurt, angry, and you need to acknowledge those emotions first so that you can eventually get them out of your system by grieving those emotions. Grieving is essential, lest the unaddressed pain festers.
4. Try to be friends right after
That just doesn't work you know. Really. There is so much that needs to be addressed that you two will never be able to draw the line between friendship and what you shared. You may just end up fighting and making everything worse. The very rare circumstance that actually works in is if you two were never that invested in each other anyway.
5. Do not have sex with each other
Just. Don't. Do. It. It will only mess your head up, and make you wonder things you shouldn't be thinking. Clean break please.
6. Try to get back together
In simple words, you should not be with someone who you have to ask to be with you. You should not be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. It is hard to let go of all the happy memories, and second-guessing the reasons why you broke up in the first place.
7. Wallowing in your pain
Yes, you need to grieve. You must. You absolutely have to. But then don't make it worse for yourself by continually listening to sad songs, eating through the heartache, and prolonging the pain.
8. Give up on love
You may not be ready to date for a while, you will also probably lose your faith in the idea of love. And that's okay. But know that eventually, this too shall pass. And when that time comes, keep the doors and your heart wide open.